Mind you, I am writing this to myself as much as I am to anyone else. Leaders need to know how to treat others with respect and to be an encourager. Leaders need to balance this with the need to build trust and to help people be accountable.

I think that how we personally treat others who we work alongside in ministry is the greatest catalyst of deep connection within the body of Christ. I have also observed that it can be a powerful inhibitor for connection within the body. As leaders, one of the best ways to foster deep connection within our congregation is to have others work alongside us and each other to carry out the mission of the church.

It is especially important for less mature believers, or for those newer to our community that their initial experiences in side by side ministry are positive.

So here are some of the things that people hear that may make a poor impression:

• “That’s not the way we do things around here” – translation: We don’t like change; Your ideas are not welcome.
• “I already told you” – translation: We don’t have enough patience for new people to be welcome.
• “So and so always does that part” – translation: We don’t like change; Making ourselves happy is more important than getting new people involved.
• “We don’t let her do too much” – translation: We are judgmental; Watch your step, or you also will be marginalized.
• “Let’s hear it for Bob – he did so much” – translation: All contribution is not counted equally; My contribution was not recognized.

The thing is, we may need to understand the translation, but to new participants or attendees, the messages come across loud and clear. How we treat each other can seriously undermine our ability to assimilate new people. Most people are very sensitive, not only to how they are treated in a new community, but also to how the community tends to treat each other.

In order to foster a safe, encouraging environment for new people, leaders need to hold each other accountable for the way both outsiders and insiders are treated. Leaders need to monitor how people treat each other, and foster the creation of a ministry environment where new people are welcome, else new people will not not stay.